Observations

Observations I’ve made and posted that I felt were worth remembering…

8/25/15

Sometimes, it’s just simpler to let the toddler in the bath tub with you than it is to keep her out.

8/5/14

I came in from the garden tonight with a shirt-basket-full of fresh sugar snap peas. I shared and/or offered some to everyone I passed, and told my father-in-law, “There is nothing that reminds me more of my dad than peas fresh from the garden…” and it’s so true. My dad had a lot of faults, but he always had delicious sweet peas in his garden, and grace for little girls who loved them too much.

 

10/31/14

For Sale OBO: Small clan of highly destructive midget terrorists. Capable of stealthy, widespread, wanton destruction and highly efficient Mama-crazy-making.

8/1/14

I get the most interesting text messages when Lance babysits. Last month, he was running experiments: “Evie does /not/ like being poked with toast… She’s okay with being whacked with bread though.” This morning, it was, “Olin wants to go to legoland and pet a dolphin and be a diesel train for Halloween. He also wants to have a whale in the house.” Sometimes I wonder what he does with the kids all day.

12/16/13

Create four people; design them to push every conscious and subconscious emotional, physical, psychological and guilt-inspired button that you possess. Now, cause them to all scream at once for completely different reasons, in different rooms and all requiring your undivided attention for a minimum of 30 seconds, maximum of three hours. This is my life.
11/3/13
They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. If that is the case, then housecleaning, folding laundry and washing dishes are signs of an unbalanced mind…

9/17/13
To the tune of Be Our Guest….
“We will mess, we will lie, we will poke you in the eye. We know how to irritate you until you just want to cry!
We will puke, we will sneeze, we’ll do anything but please, coz we know that we’re contagious and we’re sharing our disease!
We can scream, we can fight, we can keep you up all night! We can play with you, then frustrate you, then give you quite a fright!”

8/18/13
Me, showing my age with regards to the tiny shorts phenomenon…
Tim: You know, girls really seem more insecure now than they did when we were teenagers.
Me: I’d be insecure, too, if I’d forgotten my pants.

8/18/13
There is something inherently flawed about, “Look at me, I’m hiding!”

4/24/13
Position currently available for Mama Understudy. Duties may include but are by no means limited to: bathing, feeding, changing, dressing, undressing, scrubbing, scolding, comforting, chastising and cleaning up after five individuals, ages 32, 31, 4 3, and 1. Other duties include maintaining house, vehicle and environs to minimum health safety recommendations, revolving-door laundry and dishes, managing reception and accounting for the household, guest relations, scheduling, dispensing superfluous advice, and meeting any physical and emotional needs or expectations of all individuals within the facility. Additional periodic creative opportunities in temporary-instillation rail transit planning and construction. Requirements of the job include: valid driver’s license, unending patience, ability to repeatedly lift, carry, push or pull 40 to 85 pounds. Multitasking required. Special consideration will be given to candidates possessing no outside professional/social obligations and the ability to be fulfilled intellectually by discussions about heavy equipment and alien robots. Benefits include: unlimited sticky kisses and repetitions of “I love you” and occasional opportunities for sleep during late evening hours. Salary negotiated based on experience, to be paid in sandwich crusts and crumpled marker drawings.

4/14/13
Perfect way to get your kids to drink more water:
1. Fill a glass with water.
2. Set it out somewhere.
3. Tell the kid(s) that it’s /your/ water, and they can’t have it.
4. Walk away.
5. Return, refill glass. Repeat.

4/3/13
When I was in nursing school and our class stayed a MHI, we split up the nights so someone different bought the food and did the cooking each night. When it was my turn, there were these two ladies – both mom types – who came in the kitchen to help me. I remember thinking at the time how nice it was that they were helping me. Now, I realize… They weren’t there to help, they were there to make sure I didn’t screw it up. -.-

2/23/13
Why is going to the bathroom always a stadium event in this house?

10/24/12
Molly’s thoughts on prescription medication: “Mostly I think they just make things up and try it on people until something does something. Then they say “Oh! It causes death, paraplegia, sneezing, homophobia, bleeding disorders, mania, amnesia, somnolence and birth defects, but it also somewhat controls cholesterol in 5% of a certain segment of the population. Talk to your doctor about Zomgx.”

August 21, 2014Molly

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